September 19, 2008

Reported by the Associated Press

DIAMONDCreative called a press conference today in the hallway outside their Miracle Miles headquarters where Client Liaison Janelle Fisher announced that she is addicted to frozen yogurt and has suffered this addiction for the last ten years.

Fisher, holding a cup of Pinkberry Plain, size Extra Large, was visibly emotional as she made her statement. She announced her plans to attend Out Patient Yogurt Therapy, offered at the Pinkberry location in Beverly Hills in the alley on Thursday nights from 6:15-6:25pm, and credits the support of her family and coworkers in coming to the realization that her love of frozen yogurt had slowly become debilitating.

Fisher, in happier days, with her own toppings creation. “Chocolate chips, cocoanut and strawberries are the ultimate topping trio.”

“You know, you start out, and you just want a delicious, subtlety-flavored frozen yogurt with a selection of healthy toppings,” Fisher said. She said at first, her habit was manageable. A frozen yogurt after dinner and she was fine.

Then came the Pinkberry that opened close to her home. And the Red Mango that soon appeared across the street. And the Strawberry Kiwi Fusion that opened at the base of her building in early June. Fisher soon found herself purchasing, at minimum, four frozen yogurt treats a day. She frequented different locations to keep suspicion of her addiction at bay, often driving as far as Century City.

Soon, she was skipping meetings and conference calls when the cravings kicked in, often claiming to “need the ladies room” when really she was getting in the car for a Large Plain with Mango and Walnuts.

And then, bottom came. Fisher found herself at a stripmall TCBY in Van Nuys at 3am on a Tuesday, with no recollection of how she’d got there. Paramedics arrived at the scene to find her clutching a cup of chocolate-vanilla swirl and close to hypothermia. Fisher recalls it as the darkest night of her young life.

Her need for what she refers to as her “cold tasty treat” had left her with an average body temperature of 76 degrees. Doctors demanded she give up the habit. Her family and DIAMONDCreative coworkers vowed their support, even going so far as to obliterate all cold dairy from the office.

In closing, Fisher finished a statement with a plea to her fellow fro-yo lovers. “If you think you might have a problem, don’t wait. Seek help immediately. And if you must have one, please always make sure you wear a sweater while you eat. Thank you.”